Begin again

I attempted Dr. Lipman’s cleanse this past November, and to say I was ill-prepared would be an understatement. I went cold turkey with the caffeine and alcohol, and on my fourth day I headed to Nashville for a trip that involved beer, scotch, and more sugar than I care to recount. (And I normally won’t even touch scotch!) So, it was a failure.

I love the idea of cleanses, though. Running long distances does quite the number to one’s appetite, and if I don’t plan ahead, I end up shoving sugary, high-fat foods into my mouth. Although I’m not concerned about weight management, I do believe that the foods we eat impact energy levels. Dr. Lipman’s cleanse promises to boost energy (a must for a marathoner who is about to begin training for her first 50 miler), reduce bloating & puffiness, flush toxins, improve skin and relieve aches and pains. As a long distance runner, all of those things are good, and I’ve decided to give it another go.

HOWEVER, I’m not an idiot (not as a rule, anyway,) and I’m doing it differently this time. Knowing I’d be starting the cleanse today or tomorrow (depending on when the package got here), I cut out alcohol as of last Saturday, and cut out caffeine on Monday. So far, I haven’t really missed the no alcohol, but I’m not sure if that’s just because of this jack hammer of a caffeine-withdrawal headache.  I really didn’t think I drank that much caffeine, but I apparently was wrong. It was painful. Giving up sugar will be hard enough when I start this thing (although I’ll have glucosamine tablets to take the edge off), and I’m glad I had the foresight to get a couple of the other hard ones out of the way first.

And I’m allowing myself a couple of cheats. Black tea, coffee, sodas (obviously) and diet sodas (artificial sweeteners + caffeine = bad news bears) are out. However, green tea and yerba mate (think green tea on steroids) are allowed on the cleanse. Given how difficult it was for me to eliminate the caffeine, I don’t want to allow myself a cup every day. However, I will allow myself one or two cups on particularly stressful days, or on long-run days when I need something to keep me awake. And speaking of long run days, I’m still training for Alaska and have two long runs scheduled during the cleanse (an 18 miler tomorrow and then a 22 miler next week.) Gluten is prohibited, as is peanut butter, but I’m allowing myself my standard pre-long run breakfast of a toasted english muffin with peanut butter. Additionally, I’ll drink my Endurox R4 after the long runs.

Apart from that, though, I’m going to try to follow it to the letter. Shakes in the morning, mid-morning and later afternoon. A light lunch and light dinner, with the supplements taken at each. No gluten, no dairy, no alcohol, no sugar, etc. Yes, losing weight right before bikini season would be awesome, but this is more than that. I have a lot of running to do in the next few months, and I want to make sure my body is where it needs to be. I’ll let y’all know how it goes.

In the meantime, can we all say THREE-DAY WEEKEND?! It’s about damn time!

Team Teddy

Last night some friends and I went to see the Nationals play the Orioles. Although I’m not a huge fan of baseball, I am a huge fan of Nationals Stadium, and watching games in the summer is just the thing to do. The weather was perfect and it was a great way to end what has been an incredibly stressful week. We were there more for the gossip, beer and hotdogs than the game itself, so I can’t tell you who won. (I can, however, tell you that Teddy, sadly, did not win the Presidents Race.)

Fall down two times–stand up three

Saturday’s plan was a 20 miler (actually, it wasn’t supposed to be a 20 miler. I misread the training plan and jumped the gun. Oops.) I get super excited by the long runs; I’m sort of a geek like that. And anything 20 miles and over just feels like Christmas to me. So, to say I was looking forward to it would be an understatement. I set out my clothes the night before, and sent my sister a text message along the lines of, “20 mile run tomorrow! Squee!” I woke up at the ass crack of dawn with my happy face on, looking forward to spending a few hours running on the trails.

You can imagine my disappointment, then, when barely a mile into it I tripped over a root and slammed onto the ground. It hurt.like.hell. Those who know me know I’m not the most graceful in the bunch, but even by my standards, it was a rough fall. (I like to think it was because I was running so fast. Only I wasn’t really running that fast.) I walked it off for a bit, decided to HTFU, and went back to running.

And then fell again at mile 10. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, PEOPLE?? That one didn’t hurt so much. As I told the boyfriend, it was more insult than injury. If I wasn’t already so sore from the previous fall, I think I might have punched a tree. Ah, well. What’s the saying? Fall two times–stand up three. I was muddy (and then some,) and I was bloody (rhymes. I has it), but we finished the 20 miles. A 20 mile run is an accomplishment no matter how you slice it, but there’s something extra satisfying about sticking with an ugly run until it’s finished. I always say that bad runs happen to good runners, so it was relatively easy for me to shake it off. And, yes, this is a clear indication that I need to become a bit more adept at trail running before the JFK 50 miler (the first portion is on the Appalachian Trail,) but I think, in a way, this run gave me a lot of confidence. If I can run 18 miles on a swollen knee, then I know I can finish a 50 miler.

And then, like all good distance runners, I eased my pain with a mixed green salad topped with lean protein little bacon cheeseburger from Five Guys. (Don’t judge! I was sore! And grumpy!) And then I spent the rest of the day with my swollen knee propped up while I caught up on all of my true crime shows.

I took four days off from running and am anxious to get back out there. I’m in good shape for the marathon, so I’m not concerned about losing too much fitness, but I just get antsy when I go too long without exercise. I’m going to try to do something tonight, but we’ll have to play it by ear. Yes, I want to work out, but I don’t want to be stupid about it. Knees can be a right son of a bitch if you don’t treat them right and I still have a lot of bruising and a lot of soreness. So, it might turn into a run/walk (or a jog/walk. Or a walk. We’ll have to see!)

And apart from that, I don’t have much to report. I finished City of Ash this weekend. It didn’t necessarily have a lot of depth, but it was a good story told well, and sometimes that’s all you need. Now I’m working on Well-Being: The Five Essential Elements, and soon I’ll get to Strengths Finder 2.0. I’m liking Well-Being; a lot of it is intuitive, but it’s still interesting.

I’ll see your 26 miles and raise you 24

For the most part, my training schedule for the Alaska marathon has been four runs a week–short ones on Tuesday and Thursday, a medium distance run on Wednesday, and a long run on Sunday. It’s a far cry from the higher mileage weeks I had leading up to the Philadelphia marathon, but this marathon is intended to be an easy, enjoyable, stop-and-take-pictures-of-the-sea-otters one, and I don’t want to risk burn-out this early in the season.

That being said, I’m ready to up the ante once I get back from Alaska. Although 2011 was a hard year for me emotionally, it was a good year as far as running was concerned. Yes, I failed to make my goal for either Boston or Philadelphia, but at the end of the day, every race in 2011 was a PR and I ran faster than I ever have before. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to say the same for 2012. Now that I’m finally back into the swing of things, I’m running well again, but I’m simply not as fast as I was a few months ago. Can I get there again? Potentially. Hopefully. I know myself, though, and I’ve never been good with the “eventually”s and “maybes.”

So what’s a girl to do? I can’t make myself run faster right now. I’m not sure if I’m physically incapable of maintaining last year’s pace, or if it’s a mental thing, but my body seems to have settled quite happily at a pace that’s about 15-30 seconds slower per mile than last year, depending on the race distance. And, really, I don’t feel the need to push it. When I do try to push it, I realize I’m just not having fun anymore, and this year I want it to be fun. Once you get past the whole, “I’m not running fast anymore–boo hoo” phase, you learn that running a little slower is not without its merits. I’ve found when I stick to a slightly slower pace, I feel sort of like an energizer bunny who can just keep on going. I reach the end of an 18 miler and wonder why I didn’t just make it 20.

And all of this got me thinking: when I run a little slower, I can run a little longer, so why not push further than the marathon? I have two marathons scheduled for this year (Alaska and Marine Corps), but I felt the need for more. Why run 26 miles when you can run 50, right? Enter the JFK 50 miler. I mailed in my registration form the day it opened, found out this weekend I was accepted, and already have my training plan saved in google docs.

The race won’t be easy (because, you know, it’s 50 friggin miles), but the sick masochist in me can’t wait for training to begin in August. Two long runs each weekend instead of one? SWEET.

Admittedly, though, part of me wonders what will happen after the race. What’s going to be next? For years, Boston was a goal. I didn’t know what to do after that, so I started triathlons. Now I’m still not satisfied, so I’m adding a 50 mile race to a season that already has two marathons (and wasn’t my goal to go easy this year?) Sometimes, I wonder why I’m doing all of this. Yes, it makes me happy. Yes, working out keeps me healthy. It’s more than that, though. It has become something I need. I almost wonder if it has become a compulsion. When I don’t have a race to look forward to or a training plan to follow, depression and anxiety slip in and make themselves comfortable. Will I ever find ways to remain calm, cool and collected that don’t involve early morning runs, hydration belts and black toenails? Will I ever be happy enough in my skin to look the other way if I gain a pound or so, rather than hitting the pavement in attempts to take it off?

Why focus on the negative, though? I’ll answer the “What next” question when I get there. In the meantime, I’m going to focus on the fact that I have a goal (and a big one!) I’m going to focus on the fact that when I cross the finish line of the JFK 50 miler, I will feel accomplished, and I know I will be happy, regardless of how exhausted I might be. We all have our addictions and compulsions–running isn’t really that horrible of one when you think about it. The body acceptance and identity issues can come later; for now, I’ll just happily log the miles as I train for my first ultramarathon.

Friday’s Playlist

Last Friday we skipped the Crystal City 5k in lieu of going to the Birchmere to see Colin Hay. I love his music, but I think the best part was listening to his stories–the thrill he had seeing Paul McCartney walking down his driveway, fond memories of his father, the advantages and disappointments of being in the music industry.

Most of his stories were amusing, but I sensed a deeper existential thread binding them together. The death of his father has had an obvious impact on his newer music and he recently lost one of his band members. I certainly wouldn’t call Colin Hay old (his voice sounds as good now as it did a few decades ago!), but that being said, I think he’s at the stage now where he knows the majority of his life lies behind him. Although Hay didn’t play my favorite (Maggie), I enjoyed all of the songs he did play and was impressed by the sheer power of his voice.

 

And other music I’m obsessed with at the moment….

“You would have loved it here tonight.” Love Mumford & Sons; the melody of this song is gorgeous.

Say what you will about Christina Perri, but I kind of like her, and this song in particular makes me want to 1) dance slowly in an empty room and 2) learn how to play the piano.

Keep the 5ks coming!

Look at me rocking the once a week posts! I have all of these IDEAS (like a photo collage of my best and worst attempts at Draw Something), but this darn ‘work’ thing keeps getting in the way. Someone really needs to do something about that. Anyway, the first of four Crystal City 5k races was last Friday and it was a BLAST. I made my goal of keeping it right around 7 minute miles by running exactly 7 minute miles (21:44). I think that put me 7th in my age group and 20th in my division.

I actually ended up running solo because the boyfriend had a cold. My running partner being sidelined meant I had my very own race photographer–sweet! I love the picture of me sprinting to the finish, even though my face looks kind of scary. Knowing somebody is waiting with a camera is definitely good motivation to give the finish your all and keep both feet off the ground! Unfortunately, though, that race photographer decided to pass along his cold (not sweet!) So, I’m not entirely sure what I’m aiming for tonight. I’m 90% certain I’m going to run, but it’ll have to be a game-time decision. I have a long run tomorrow and that’s definitely priority right now (the Alaska marathon is only 70 days away! How did it get so close?) That being said, I think the 5k is totally doable so long as I do it to have fun and not try to break any records. Besides, there’s a free beer afterward–that’s worth 20-some minutes of congested running!

Also made it to another Urbanfit class this week. I had to skip Monday’s because of my cold, but sucked it up on Wednesday and went with one of my girlfriends. There were lots of deadlifts and then a few box jumps, which were scary as hell. I mean, if I were jumping on a box, that would be one thing, but I was trying to jump on a METAL STOOL. WITH SHARP EDGES. (Oh, and pull-ups, push-ups and kettle ball–lots of those things, too. I love the kettle ball!) It was fun, though. I am looking forward to trying Crossfit at one point, too. I think I have 7 more classes at Urban Evolution left on my groupon deal; when those are all used up, I’ll try out Crossfit a few times and see which format works best for me. I definitely prefer something like that to just lifting on my own–it’s nice to have someone keeping an eye on your form and it’s also just good to have people convince you to push it a little harder than you think you can.

And that’s about all for now. Looking forward to a warm weekend full of running and resting (those two things work awfully well together…) I’m totally behind on the whole Lana Del Ray thing, but if you, like me, are living under a rock and haven’t heard this song, I highly recommend it.

Beef–it’s what’s for dinner.

I meant to write up a bit of a race report for Cherry Blossom, but inertia got the better of me and I couldn’t seem to find the motivation to do much this week beyond the necessities. Suffice it to say, the race wasn’t horrible, although I was a bit sore from a 2 hour Urbanfit class the day before and had a couple of melodramatic, “Just go on without me!” moments. When all was said and done, I crossed the finish line at 1:16:52, which is 5 minutes slower than my 10 mile PR, but still decent enough to land me in the top 5% of my division. And on a random note, how awesome are these race results?? I wish every race provided something this snazzy!

Tonight I’ll be running the Crystal City 5k–I still haven’t figured out how to race a 5k so I’m a little daunted, but looking forward to it (and reminding myself that this is a speed workout and not a competition!) Last summer I ran a 5k in 20 something and change (a good bit of change, to be honest. It was pretty close to 21!); I don’t think I’m there yet, but I’m really hoping to keep it right around 7 minute miles.  The fact that it’s an evening race also makes it a little odd, but at least you can get a beer after, right? Sunday is a 12 miler followed by a little bacon cheeseburger from Five Guys. Finally! I did have a few shrimp on Wednesday, but apart from that I held to my resolve and have been meat free since February 22nd. I am very, very much looking forward to a burger.

I’m actually calling the experiment off today–I made it to Good Friday, and that’s good enough in my book. When I started all of this, I was hoping the vegetarian thing would “stick,” and I know now that it probably won’t. Although I’m looking forward to the cheeseburger, as a rule I think I’ll likely continue to avoid red meat/bacon/etc. It’s the seafood I really can’t do without–I’ve had some massive seafood cravings and can’t wait to break into some spicy tuna or crab cakes. And oddly enough, I’ve been craving chicken, which is funny because I was getting so tired of chicken before all of this started. Adding chicken back into my diet is a little trickier, though, in terms of ethical considerations. Living conditions for chickens are deplorable, so I’ll need to do some research to see if it’s possible to add it back into my diet without feeling like a total asshole.

I think chances are good we’ll still cook many meat-free dishes at home. I’m tired of tofu, but we’ve found some creative ways to cook it, and a lot of fake meat products taste better and are easier to digest than the “real” thing (case in point: Meatless meatballs. The boyfriend and I both agree that they are WAY better than regular meatballs. Plus, we like saying “meatless balls.” 30 somethings going on 5…) So, I do feel positive changes have come from this and I think overall it has instilled in me healthier eating habits. Now if only I can get rid of this damn sweet tooth!

Awesome song for the day:

Cherry Blossom!

The Cherry Blossom Ten Miler is on Sunday, and I’m proud to say I made it through packet pick-up at lunch without cutting a bitch. (Although there were admittedly a few close calls.) This is a fun race and I’d say it’s probably “the” race to run in Washington, D.C. I love the Marine Corps Marathon, but the 26.2 mile distance isn’t for everybody, and while the 5ks and 10ks are nice, they lack the tradition and history of Cherry Blossom.

That being said, packet pick-up is a right pain in the ass. (I’m sorry, CUCB. I love you, but I gotta be honest: FIX THE PICK-UP SITUATION.) The National Building Museum is cool and all, but it’s simply not designed to efficiently handle tens of thousands of runners impatiently eagerly waiting to grab their bibs and shirts. If you don’t time it well, you will be in a line that wraps around the block (yes, you read that right–around the flipping block) waiting to get in, and once you’re lucky enough to get in and wait in more lines for your bib, you are thrust into the mosh pit that is the expo (which you have to navigate if you hope to get the t-shirt.) Packet pick-up started today at noon, so we decided to take an early lunch and got there right at noon. Believe it or not, there was already a line, but we were in and out in about 25 minutes. Sweet!  And I really couldn’t help but be impressed by the volunteers actually handing out the bibs–it’s a constant feeding frenzy but they were remarkably chipper!

This is the first of four races I’ll be running in April. However, I’ve decided to not look at these as “races” so much as high intensity training runs. My first marathon isn’t until June and my “A” marathon isn’t until October (and I’m kinda sorta planning another big race in the fall, but we’ll see!), so my primary goal in April is to just HTFU already. I’m actually doing a cross-fit type class on Saturday. Yes, that means I’ll be sore in places I forgot I had come Sunday morning, but I think it’s important to train your body to run through fatigue. I’m not setting any sort of time goal, but I would like to negative split the race (my unfortunate habit is to start out too fast and slow down by the end–I’m trying very, very hard this year to break myself of that.)

More than anything, I’m just happy about how excited I am to run a race again. The past two weeks have been pretty decent running-wise–I’ve been running consistently, I’ve been feeling good and, most importantly, I’ve been enjoying it.  I’m looking forward to seeing where I am at the end of the month.

(Oh, and am I one of the hopeful losers snatching up Megamillions lottery tickets like they’re going out of style? Hell yeah, I am! Fingers crossed, people; fingers crossed…)

A Fish Called Neil

I didn’t sleep well last night. I tossed and turned and when I did sleep I had nightmares about flying fish, rats and an unsolved murder on a college campus in the late 70s (the hairstyles were priceless.) It’s pretty easy to blame the unsolved murder nightmare on the Investigative Discovery channel (must.stop.watching), and I blame the rats on Draw Something–I had to draw a rat last night. As for the flying fish, I have no clue what that’s all about, other than the fact that fish creep me the f*ck out when they’re out of water. I had this goldfish once named Bubba who I’m pretty sure was suicidal. Every time I went to clean his tank, I would gently reach in with the net to transport him to a bowl of water while he waited patiently for his domicile to be serviced. AND EVERY SINGLE TIME HE WOULD FREAK OUT AND JUMP OUT OF THE NET INTO THE SINK. Ack. They get all floppy and panicky and it makes me shudder just to think of it. When he finally kicked the bucket I decided maybe I shouldn’t have any more fish.

(Well, this was after I accidentally killed my betta fish by leaving him in an unheated office over a long weekend. Whoops. His name was Neil Diamond and we were all fond of him, so we quickly got a replacement and dubbed him “Neil Diamond II.” I have no recollection of what happened to him, but I have a feeling he likely didn’t last long.)

But anyway, the point of the story is I slept poorly last night, which is making me a little loopy today. I thought I had a meeting offsite at 10, which was going to conflict with another meeting I had onsite at 11. So, I emailed my boss to bow out of the onsite meeting, and then found out the 10am was cancelled, so decided to go to the internal meeting, after all (confusing, no?) Our meeting room is right across from my office, so it’s 11 and nobody’s in the room. Meh, no big deal. I’m typically the only person who actually shows up on time for these things, anyway. Then at around 11:15 I’m getting all nasty with friends on gchat saying things like, “What the hell?! How hard is it to show up to a meeting ON F*CKING TIME?! People have no respect anymore!”

And then it dawned on my that the 11 o’clock meeting was actually scheduled for tomorrow. So, the good news is I don’t have any meetings at ALL today. The bad news is I have them tomorrow. BOO. My job’s alright and all, but I sure as hell wouldn’t mind winning the Mega Millions Jackpot and permanently retiring to Turks and Caicos or something.

In other news, my largest board on Pinterest right now is “Other Tattoo Ideas.” I’m ready to get another one. I’m leaning towards “choose happiness” on the inside of my left wrist. I like the reminder that just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean you have to succumb to negativity.

Or birds. I’m all about bird tattoos right now. OR, my favorite line from Gatsby: “tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther…. And one fine morning —” Or THIS one, which combines words AND birds (rhyme, much?), and also sort of goes with my Whitman tattoo.

Enough tattoo talk. Now I’m going to go listen to a song I’ve only heard about 1,056,318 times today (yes, it’s that good.) And maybe, you know, get some work done.

Beautiful Thing: Inside the Secret World of Bombay’s Dance Bars

Beautiful Thing: Inside the Secret World of Bombay’s Dance Bars by Sonia Faleiro

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

In this heartbreaking work of non-fiction, Sonia Faleiro guides us through Bombay’s sexy and depraved dance bars as she tells the story of Leela, a 19 year old dancer. Leela flees her violent childhood home and her beauty turns her into one of the dance bars most popular girls. The business involves sex, money, violence, bribes and extortion; however, despite its flaws she enjoys the independence it provides. When politicians close the dance bars on claims of morality (although in reality the wealthier dance bars were allowed to remain open), Leela goes deeper into the Bombay underbelly as she struggles to survive while never giving up her sense of freedom.

Of course, it is all too easy for the reader to see that Leela’s sense of independence and freedom is false–her survival is based on how highly men value her beauty, and all too soon her greatest and only asset will decline and decay under the effects of age and the stress of her dangerous lifestyle. Rapes are alarmingly common, abuse from men is so widespread the women come to expect it, and they even turn knives on themselves in efforts to lure men away from competitors.

The book exposes a dark, raw, festering environment, and although the reader so desperately wants the best for Leela, her future is clear, and bleak.

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